Advice

[kiyakotari]

Stolen from askerian. Apparently the "best meme ever."

Ask any character I've written for advice, and they will provide it, advice columnist style. Your problems or fictional characters' problems both welcome. Management is not responsible for the results of following said advice.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen. Hit me. I just got an IUD put in and need something to take my mind off of the incredibly ridiculous cramping. $@&#*$@&#$!!!

Comments

Re: Not for the Squeamish

[kiyakotari.livejournal.com]

Dear Satan's Roomie in CA,

It depends on the specific type of pest.

Laying down a line of salt around the perimeter generally discourages slugs in the garden, but is only effective until the next rain and runs the risk of damaging the soil ("sowing the fields with salt" was not simply an idle expression) if overused. It's not poisonous, though.

Coffee grounds spread along the joins of walls and across window-sills and door frames will usually keep ants from coming into your home. I have no idea why this works. Wren suggested that it might have something to do with the caffeine content, but more likely it was connected to the odor-masking effect of coffee (smugglers use it to hide drugs for a reason) and the fact that ants use scent markers to navigate. She's probably correct. This technique has the disadvantage of being messy, but again, it is not poison.

For the rat, I would suggest getting a cat. As you've mentioned you have a bird, it would obviously need to be an outdoor animal. If you don't want to take on the responsibility of a cat of your own, you might consider leaving a bit of food out in the backyard for a week or so, to attract any strays you might have, and see if you can make the morning severed rat's head become a more common occurrence. This has the negative potential of attracting other types of vermin (such as opossum, racoons, etc) that may not be as interested in hunting down your rat population as the neighborhood cats, and if you're particularly unlucky you'll end up feeding the rats you're trying to get rid of, but it may be worth a trial run.

An exorcism or ritual cleansing might also be in order.

Sincerely,
Jian Yuan