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The (unenthused) target of these questions is Ming Jian Yuan.

1. If your doll was a reptile, what sort of reptile would he or she be?
    Leiolepis gutata (Giant Butterfly Agama).
2. Your doll has decided he or she is sick of living with you. Why?
    He doesn't get to be nearly active enough when he's stuck keeping an eye on me. Also, he's
    read every book in the apartment twice, and is more than ready to move on to a larger selection.
3. What is your doll’s favorite condiment?
    Dou ban jiang. It makes him think of home. Though he doesn't have it often.
4. Would your doll survive the zombie apocalypse?
    Not only would he survive, he'd organize a successful resistance force, probably using a
    stolen airline carrier as a base (Miles and miles of ocean make a great barrier to zombie attacks,
    didn't you know that?), with stolen helicopters and destroyer-class battle ships tacked on
    to the flotilla for assault capabilities (After all, the best defense is a good offense.), and over time
    he'd add a few captured cruise ships for extra housing space. He would also rescue as many
    scientists and medical doctors as he could, for the express purpose of attempting to find a cure.
5. If your doll was a cheese, what kind of cheese would he or she be?
    Cablanca.
6. Quick! Before it drives him or her crazy, what song can’t your doll get out of his or her head?
    "Amnesia" by Chumbawumba. He heard it on the radio once, and can only remember the chorus line: "Do
    you suffer from long term memory loss? I don't remember."
7. Oh no! Your doll has suddenly become a pound of ground beef! What dish are you having for dinner tonight?
    A pasty. A whole bunch of them, in fact. Sub-par, since they'll be made with ground beef instead of
    steak, but better than meatloaf, which is pretty much the only other thing I know how to make with the stuff.
8. Your doll has taken up a pretentious hobby. What is he or she snootily doing?
    Re-potting a bonsai.
9. What was your doll’s imaginary friend like when he or she was just a little tiny?
    His name was Xiao, and that's all Jian Yuan will say.
10. Cake or death?
    He doles out death pretty regularly, yes. However did you know? Did the guns tip you off?

BONUS
If your doll could be Truffle for one day, what would he or she do?

    Figure out how to catch his own tail.

Date: 2010-08-31 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] calalillith.livejournal.com
Cake or death? WHY CHOOSE!

Date: 2010-08-31 06:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kiyakotari.livejournal.com
I honestly couldn't figure out the "question" part of that one. Are they asking if he'd prefer cake or death (and if so, if he'd prefer to have it or prefer to give it)? If he sees/experiences more cake or more death? If he has an opinion on the relative values of cake versus those of death?

Date: 2010-08-31 10:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] calalillith.livejournal.com
*grin* I've seen "Is happiness a warm gun or a warm puppy?" in that vein..

Date: 2010-09-01 10:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kiyakotari.livejournal.com
I can honestly say I've never heard that one, either. @_@

Date: 2010-09-01 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lionhearts.livejournal.com
Why can I so easily picture him snootily re-potting a bonsai? 8D

Date: 2010-09-01 08:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kiyakotari.livejournal.com
LOL. Probably because he would keep bonsai, if only he didn't have to worry about what would happen to him when he goes on long-term assignment. It sucks when you come back from a four-month undercover and find your tiny pine tree dead from lack of water.

Date: 2010-09-01 04:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nagasvoice.livejournal.com
Very interesting. Gorgeous reptile, of course!
Funny, I never thought of repotting bonsai as pretentious...I just think of it as a messy process. Well, perhaps about the same as any other repotting, only with extra pruning. Talk about wearing your work...

Date: 2010-09-01 08:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kiyakotari.livejournal.com
Neither have I, actually. I've always considered bonsai one of those things I would do myself, if I had the energy/inclination. But it's a potentially-expensive, strange hobby, and I couldn't think of anything else in that vein that would suit him. (Actually, I did consider miniature-gunsmithing, but decided against it. Jian Yuan really is more of a bonsai man at heart.)

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